Who pays for bridesmaids accessories, hair, etc??

i understand that it is normal for the bride to pick out the dress and the bridemaids to pay for it... but what about all the other stuff? i was under the impression that the bride gave "guidelines" for what she wanted and you went and got those things or used what you have... but if the bride wanted something particular she paid for it... what are other people's thoughts on this??





i ask because for one of the weddings i'm in the bride went ahead and bought jewelry and asked us to send us the money for it. she didnt' ask if we already have it, or have something similar, or about prices or anything. then she asked us for shoe sizes and is going to go pick out and buy our shoes and again, we just send her money. this seems VERY odd to me. especially if i am paying for this. if i already have or would rather buy something similar i dont' get the big deal. if she wants us all EXACTLY the same, shouldn't she pay for those items????

Who pays for bridesmaids accessories, hair, etc??
Unfortunately, that is just one of the parts of being a bridesmaid. In my case, I am letting the girls wear whatever shoes they want as long as they are nude in color, but some brides want a more uniform look. I am also making the girls navy blue silk flower pins for their hair, but that is something I want to do for them! In regards to their hair and make-up they are doing their own.





Other than that, I am not requiring that they wear anything specific. I figure as long as the color and length of their dresses is the same, I don't really care about any of it.





I have to say that I think that a lot of brides expect too much from their maids. Ultimately I just want to make sure that they all have fun and are with me on such an important day.





Just remember, it is etiquette for you to just do what she says. If it gets to be too much, just tell her that you can't afford it and see if you can work something out. One of my girls is a new mom and isn't working and just can't afford any of it. So, my sister and I are paying for all her stuff because it is SUPER important for me that she be there.
Reply:The bride tells them what they should have, or whatever, and its nice when the bride gives each a present like a necklace or smthng to wear at the wedding...





if the bride picks out the dresses and stuff, then the bride should pay for at least 1/2 of it-or usually she should pay full. If she just tells a color, she doesnt need to.
Reply:Unless the bride offers to pay, it is the responsibility of the bridesmaids.





I agree that is very odd and bridezilla-ish behavior. If she wants a specific uniform look, then she has to pay for it. Don't send her your own money.
Reply:If you tell them what accessories they "have to have" then you need to pay for them. If you let them pick their own or say pick what you want as long as it's this color then they pay their own.
Reply:usually it is the BM responsability! But if the bride had somthing in mind then she should have asked if it was ok or at least checked with you to make sure it was not too expensive. But the BM pays for her own stuff!
Reply:Ditto...you pay for your own stuff.





When I got married, I bought all my bridesmaids their jewelry, but other than that, I told them what I wanted and they bought it.
Reply:wow she sounds a little like bridezilla!!


usually the bridesmaids do pay for all their stuff. but the jewerly often a gift from the bride (if she wants people to have the same jewerly..)
Reply:unless the bride is extremely rich, you pay for everything, I did for my brother and sister in law's wedding
Reply:you pay for everything.





thats how i have always heard of it.
Reply:Bridesmaids pay for their stuff.....that's part of the duty of being a bridesmaid.
Reply:Traditionally, and based on what ettiquete states, the girls pay for their own dresses, accessories, hair/makeup/mani-pedi. That's the responsibility of standing up in someone's wedding.





Though usually the bride will purchase the girl's jewelry or purses or something and give that to them as their gift. I'm planning on purchasing the girl's jewelry but expect them to pay for the rest, as they expect to as well.





Who pays for it is irregardless of whether you pick out the stuff or she does. It's her wedding so she should pick everything out. Hopefully she will take your tastes into consideration but ultimately it's HER wedding and she has a picture of how it should look in her mind.





When you get married you can do the same.





And it's not being a bridezilla, it's the way weddings work. Now if she was asking you to pay for costly hair extensions or demanding that you lose weight or go tanning or something that would be a bridezilla.
Reply:the having you pay for everything isnt odd, but her going and buying everything and having you send a check is odd. i think she's going about that in a selfish way. she could even print out pictures of what she wants yall to get and send them to you so you can get exactly what it looks like...if your shoes look like the ones she bought then now you'll have two pairs of the exact same shoes only one has higher heels. i think its a little anal retentive of her
Reply:Sometimes the bride does and sometimes the bridesmaid.. there isn't a set rule on this.





If you ask me.. The bride going pick out and pick up all the extras besides the dress is a hassle off your back!





Just let it be.. don't sweat the small stuff.. if this bothers you however, then talk to the bride. Tell her you want to be apart of it and would like to know what your paying for. Do it in a nice way of course!





Good Luck!
Reply:I agree and disagree here. When accepting the part of bridesmaid or MOH, you are also accepting what else goes with it, ie white open toe 4" heals, tealength purple dress with pears, etc...


I do believe though that if she is going to order them, they must fit. Just like a dress fitting, there should be a shoe fitting if all are to be alike. In necklaces, a heavy set gal takes a bigger length than a small gal. Earrings, some have pierced ears, some don't.


It kinda sounds like she is going "overboard" to ensure everything is 100% perfect. You might want to speak with her and gently tell her you need to try the shoes on for size and fit, or see if your 3" works as a substitue for the 4". Until someone says something to her, better expect the worse- what we call the Godzilla Bride. Good luck, and I hope the wedding is real soon!



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